


Lovin' you mo'

by mirkwood131



Series: EXO Central [16]
Category: BLACKPINK (Band), EXO (Band)
Genre: Byun Baekhyun & Park Chanyeol are Best Friends, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-03-31 10:07:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13972752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirkwood131/pseuds/mirkwood131
Summary: Chanyeol and Kyungsoo are best friends, but maybe, sometimes Chanyeol wants a little bit more, especially when he is feeling alone and Kyungsoo is never sure.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> enjoy :)

“Push it a little harder!”

“I’m trying, but it’s too tight!”

“Come on. A little more forcefully.”

“Do you think I’m not doing just that?!” Chanyeol says, turning his head towards Kyungsoo. The position is uncomfortable, so he looks back at the ground. “It’s filled to the brim.”

“Just push in.” Kyungsoo says.

“Just sit on the freaking suitcase!” Chanyeol snaps, standing up and in the same moment, the suitcase opens and a part of the clothes fly through the air, right on the floor.

It is ¾ empty once again.

“I won’t sit on the damn suitcase. What do you take me for?!” Kyungsoo says, kicking a t-shirt with his foot. It gets tangled on his leg and then, what is left for him to do is wiggle it through the air until it falls down.

“Someone has to sit on it.”

“You sit on it.”

“I’m stronger than you.” Chanyeol says, crossing his hands over his chest.

“No, you are not.” Kyungsoo says and suddenly, the other grabs him in his arms and waves him until Kyungsoo kicks him in the ribs.

Repeatedly.

Until both of them fall onto the floor.

“It’s all your fault.”

“I really want to go to Toronto, you know?” Chanyeol says.

“You sit on it.”

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes and stands up. Chanyeol bursts in laughter.

 -

“Roadtrip, here we cooooome!” Chanyeol yells, shoving a victorious fist in the wall. “Dammn ittt!”

“You’re an idiot.” Kyungsoo laughs, pushing the suitcase down the hallway.

 -

“Toronto, here we come!” Chanyeol shouts, opening his window and letting his long limbs fly through the air.

“Close it. I’ll see you halfway on the road.” Kyungsoo says, slapping the other’s thigh.

“I won’t.”

He closes the window anyways.

“I don’t get why you are so excited about Toronto anyways? I’ll be there only for work and I still don’t understand how you’ve made me take you with me.” Kyungsoo shakes his head and turns on the radio. “This song is terrible.”

“Because…we never do anything fun together anymore.” Chanyeol says, leaning on the window and staring at the white lines on the road.

“And this is not fun.”

“More than we usually have.” Chanyeol sighs.

“You could find new friends.” Kyungsoo says, turning the radio a little bit louder.

“You’re starting again.” Chanyeol says, glancing at him.

“When did-I’m busy enough to have you in my life too.” Kyungsoo says.

He grips the steering wheel tighter and looks straight at the road in front of him, at the back of the red car that he suddenly wants to overtake.

“I can tell.”

“Being a doctor-”

“I get it. Sorry for making you take me. Now it’s a must to only have doctor friends.”

“Why are you such a child? I don’t have friends. Point. You are-”

“I get it.” Chanyeol sighs, looking back through the window, at the side of the red car.

“No, you don’t. If you did you’d live your life.” Kyungsoo says, looking at him. “I want you to be happy. This is not-”

“You don’t know what makes me happy. And this was good enough before you ruined it too.” Chanyeol says, hitting the window.

“Ruined it too?!”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, it does, damn it, Chanyeol. That’s why I didn’t want to take you with me! Because you would-you would…” Kyungsoo says, slapping the steering wheel.

The car stops right in the middle of the road.

“I could have said nothing. This was fine by me.” Chanyeol says, looking at him.

“And that’s the problem. That it is fine by you. Your clothes are crammed in my damn suitcase. You live on my couch. You cook for me. You-you are damn everywhere and I have no fucking idea what to do-because you-I’m using you.” Kyungsoo yells right when a car passes by them and honks, followed by two other.

But Kyungsoo doesn’t bother to move it, just stares back at Chanyeol, heavily breathing.

“Then why can’t you just accept it?”

“Because you make me the villain in all of this.” Kyungsoo says, starting the engine.

 -

“Can you please give me that shirt? The one with the-the flamingos.”

“I left it home.” Kyungsoo says, pulling out a simple black t-shirt from the suitcase. “Take this. I think it will fit.”

“When is the conference?” Chanyeol asks, glancing at the other sitting on the bed.

“5pm.”

“We could go for a walk. And then you go to the conference and I go eat something.” Chanyeol smiles.

“Sounds fine. Hurry then.” Kyungsoo says, standing up and walking past the other.

Chanyeol grabs his wrist, making him stop.

“Kyungsoo…I don’t us to be like this.”

“Hurry up, Chanyeol.”

 -

“Fuck! It’s raining.” Kyungsoo says as a couple of water drops hit his face. “Fuck.”

“I’ll get a cab.” Chanyeol says, looking around.

“The building is like…right there.” Kyungsoo points towards a glass one, taller than most of the ones around.

“Fine.”

“Are you still sulking?” Kyungsoo asks, glancing at him.

“No. Why would I be?”

“Because you look like a kicked puppy. Literally in the freaking rain.” Kyungsoo laughs.

He bites his lip and looks up at Chanyeol’s. One step, and he would be pressed against the other. But he takes one step back and Chanyol eventually breaths out.

“I’m not.”

 -

“You didn’t have to wait for me.” Kyungsoo says, stepping out of the building with some papers in his hands.

It’s still raining outside. Quietly, sneakily. You can barely see the drops.

“When will we leave?” Chanyeol asks.

“Tomorrow. Tonight it’s too late.” Kyungsoo says.

“Let’s go for a walk. Please.” Chanyeol says.

“Fine. But if I get sick, it’s all your fault.” Kyungsoo smiles and walks over to him.

“Fine.” Chanyeol laughs.

 -

They keep on walking, the rain silently dripping all over them. It is silent anyways, no voices only their breaths and their footsteps on the wet sidewalk.

The park is even darker, covered in a shroud of unanswered questions. Chanyeol has one of them, right on the edge of his lips.

 -

“Do you not like me?” he asks, kicking a stone.

It lands in a puddle, right in its center. The water splashes his shoes.

“Not like you? A normal human being would ask if I liked him. Not not.” Kyungsoo laughs, hands in his pockets.

A crow croaks and Chanyeol flinches, shifting closer to Kyungsoo.

“Enough.” he says. “I like you enough.”

Chanyeol huffs and laughs at the same time, as a splash of saliva reaches his chin. It mixes with the rain anyways.

“Funny? Do you think that’s funny?” Kyungsoo asks and pushes three fingers into Chanyeol’s ribs.

“Stop it-stopitstopitstopit!”

“I like you.” Kyungsoo says. “Enough.”

“That’s extremely…”

“It’s raining and I’m walking through a park at 10pm. I think I like you enough.” Kyungsoo says and grabs Chanyeol’s wrist.

He holds his breath once again, waiting for Kyungsoo to take a step back.

Kyungsoo makes one step forward and his breath hitches in his chest. It is trapped right in his lungs.

“Do you like me enough?” Kyungsoo raises one eyebrow and steps aside.

Chanyeol finally breaths out.

 -

“I’m damn soaked.” Kyungsoo says, running through the pouring rain with Chanyeol by his side.

Chanyeol grabs his wrist, but his finger slip, but Kyungsoo stops nonetheless.

“What?!”

He makes one step forward and another one until he can see his damp hair and the drops falling on his face.

Lips shiny, ajar and glassy eyes.

The first touch is shaky, noses bumping into one another. Chanyeol breaths out and stares down at their shoes.

“Embarrassing” is on his lips.

Kyungsoo laughs and stands on his tiptoes to kiss Chanyeol on the lips.

“I like you more than enough…” Chanyeol whispers.

“I know.”

 -

“I don’t get why it doesn’t want to close? I threw some of the clothes anyways.” Kyungsoo says.

“Sit on it.” Chanyeol says from the bathroom.

“That was the last time.” Kyungsoo says. “I found the problem. The zipper was stuck.”

Chanyeol sighs.

“Today we could go watch a movie. If we have time.” Chanyeol says.

He hopes Kyungsoo didn’t hear him.

“I wanted to go to the hospital-”

“It’s fine. It was stupid anyways.”

“You didn’t even let me finish.” Kyungsoo laughs. “I wanted to say that I would go with you. To see a movie.”

“Oh.” Chanyeol says.

 -

“I hate this song.” Kyungsoo says.

“I love it.”

Chanyeol increases the volume and Kyungsoo the speed.

 -

“Chanyeol…there’s been-I got a call from the-”

“You can go. I’m tired anyways.” Chanyeol says as he throws the things from the suitcase onto the bed.

“But you wanted us to go. Wasn’t it a date?”

“It doesn’t matter, does it? You should go. They need you.” Chanyeol smiles.

“Okay.”

 -

“Chanyeol…I brought hamburgers and jelly beans?” Kyungsoo says.

Chanyeol shifts on the bed and bumps into the other.

“What the-”

“Came back…” Kyungsoo smiles.

“I should go to the couch and sleep.” Chanyeol says, rubbing his eyes.

“No. Don’t. I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Chanyeol asks, taking a hamburger from Kyungsoo.

He shrugs and opens the jelly beans pack.

“You know…this tastes worse than I remembered.” Chanyeol says, leaning on Kyungsoo’s shoulder.

“What do you say about next Saturday?” Kyungsoo asks. “No promises but…I’m free and I want to take you on a date. If you don’t hate me. Which any sane person would.” he laughs.

“It’s good to me.”

Kyungsoo sighs and kisses Chanyeol on the cheek.

“I know…”


	2. Chapter 2

“Sorry. This is the best that I could.” Kyungsoo says, walking towards Chanyeol on the crowded hallway.

“It’s fine. Still something, right?” Chanyeol laughs, keeping his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

“Don’t buy the pasta. Or the potatoes. The meat is decent and the chicken soup is the best.”

“So. This is where you practically live.” Chanyeol says, grabbing a tray from the side of one table.

“Get some bread too.”

“It’s lively. More than our-I mean, your apartment.” Chanyeol says, placing 4 small breads next to the forks.

“Chanyeol…I really wanted us to go on that date. It’s just that…” he shakes his head.

“I know. You couldn’t miss that surgery.”

“2 chicken soups, please.” Kyungsoo says, smiling, but the smile doesn’t show in his eyes. “Chanyeol…being chief resident-”

“It’s a lot of work and dedication. I understand. I wasn’t asking for an explanation.” Chanyeol says, looking down at the oil swimming in the yellow liquid.

“I know. Maybe next Sunday. I’m supposed to have it free. Or one of the nights during the week but-”

“You’re always tired. It’s okay. You better rest.” Chanyeol says, picking up the tray.

“Chanyeol…” Kyungsoo says, placing his hand on Chanyeol’s arm.

“The soup will be cold.”

 -

“So. Two packs of tortilla. The cheese sauce that you like and…bubble chocolate.” Kyungsoo says, waving the packages in front of Chanyeol. “You could at least say something.”

“I found an apartment like…10 minutes away from work. And it’s not that expensive either.” Chanyeol says, looking up at Kyungsoo from his laptop.

“Oh. That’s good.”

“Yeah…”

 -

“Do you need help, packing?”

“No, it’s fine. I’m almost done. I don’t have much stuff anyways.” Chanyeol says.

“So…the new apartment.”

“I like it. Baekhyun will come to help me with it. But it’s small, so it won’t take me much.”

“Sure.”

“Kyungsoo-”

“Sorry. It’s from the hospital.” Kyungsoo says, glancing at his pager.

 -

“I asked Baekhyun where the apartment is. You still like cactuses, right?” Kyungsoo asks, holding a small one with a bow on top.

“Come in.” Chanyeol smiles, taking it from the other’s hands.

“This is really nice. Like…I wouldn’t have imagined that you’d be into this…”

“Modern and all white and not playing in a stupid band, living in a dirty apartment?” Chanyeol laughs, placing the plant on the kitchen counter. “It’s actually pretty cheap, if you want to know.”

Kyungsoo smiles, pacing around until he stops right in front of the window, looking down at the cars on the dark street.

“About us…”

“I’m…I have friends, you know. I’ve always had but I preferred you.” Chanyeol says. “Maybe…change is good.”

“What does it mean?” Kyungsoo asks, still standing with his back towards him.

“It means that…you are busy and I need more. That…that wasn’t going to work out anyways so it is better that I’ve ended it like this.” Chanyeol says. “The cactus is really nice.”

“I think that I should go back to work. There’s this patient that…”

“Sure.” Chanyeol says, his lips forming a tight smile. “I play sometimes at the bar near the hospital. When you have time you can come.”

“Since when?”

“For 3 years now.” Chanyeol says.

“You haven’t told me.”

“Yes…I did.”

 -

“I’m Chanyeol, and tonight I’m going to sing for you!”

Kyungsoo sits down on a chair in the back of the bar, holding a beer in his hand and looking straight at Chanyeol. He hasn’t noticed him just yet, so Kyungsoo sips his drink quietly, as he closes his eyes, waiting for the silence to be replaced by anything, but not to keep being quiet.

His body sways to the slow rhythm of the music, the chords of the guitar making most of it until Chanyeol starts singing and Kyungsoo thinks that he hasn’t heard him sing in so long. Since they’ve finished high-school, when he used to have so much more time on his hands and he seemed to know everything about his best friend.

The music stops at some point and when he opens his eyes, they immediately meet Chanyeol’s, glassy and bright in the yellow neon lights.

Kyungsoo stands up, leaving the bottle of beer on the table and strides outside, in the chilly air that is making his skin shiver.

 -

“Kyungsoo…”

He turns around, looking back at Chanyeol who’s standing in the doorframe.

“I was only passing by.” he smiles.

Chanyeol walks towards him, slowly, until they are centimeters apart. His chest is rising up and down, glancing up at the other’s face. Eyes. Full lips.

He feels a hand softly cup his cheek and he leans on the touch, letting those fingers caress his skin. And then it ends.

“I should get back inside. I’m glad that you came.” Chanyeol smiles.

Kyungsoo raises his arm and almost grabs Chanyeol’s wrist, but then he lets it fall down next to his body, watching him finally disappear inside the bar.

 -

“This is great. Guys’ night.” Chanyeol smiles, handing Kyungsoo one cold beer. “Glad you’ve finally made time.”

Kyungsoo only nods, glancing at Baekhyun who appears from the kitchen. “I still cannot believe that he can even afford this. Like…” Baekhyun laughs, sitting down right between them.

“I play at different bars, alright? And sometimes at coffee shops too.”

“Sure sure.” Baekhyun laughs.

“Honestly.”

“And I’m honest too.” Baekhyun says, rising the volume until the noise covers their voices. “I really want to see this game.”

“Of course you do. Cause Suzy keeps you busy almost every night.”

“At least somebody keeps me busy.” Baekhyun says and Kyungsoo looks down at his hands.

 -

“Let him sleep on the couch.” Chanyeol whispers to Kyungsoo.

“I should probably just go home.” he says, looking around for his phone.

“Kyungsoo…” he whispers, touching his elbow.

“No…I really think that I should just sleep in my own bed.”

“Kyungsoo…”

“Chanyeol. This is really not…I keep hurting you and you should do what Baekhyun keeps saying.”

“And I don’t.”

“You don’t…” Kyungsoo sighs, taking a step back.

“I want you to be here…you know that I’ve never cared about that. I can manage it.”

“You keep saying that.” Kyungsoo says, taking another step back. “Tomorrow I’ll be the same.”

Chanyeol takes a step forward, and then another one.

“You’ve moved into a different place because-”

“I moved out because I was angry.” Chanyeol says, touching his face with his fingers.

“I should really go.”

“Please don’t…it won’t be any of your fault.” Chanyeol whispers.

“That’s…” he smiles and Chanyeol presses his lips onto Kyungsoo’s.

 -

“Hey…it’s still early.” Chanyeol whispers from the bed, dragging Kyungsoo’s body closer to his body.

“It’s 6.” Kyungsoo yawns, stretching his limbs.

“Just a little longer.” Chanyeol says, kissing his cheek.

“I promise I’ll come over tonight…” he says.

“Okay…” Chanyeol smiles.

“Okay…”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song recommandation: [ Do I wanna know-Arctic Monkeys cover ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjwwmFrsX_E)

“It’s raining.” Chanyeol laughs as a rain trickles down on his forehead.

“I know.” Kyungsoo says. “It was supposed to be…well, not raining.”

“You were supposed to come over to my place.” he says, sitting on a bench.

“So you like me enough, then?” Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow.

“It is 11pm and raining. I like you enough.” Chanyeol laughs, sitting up. “Is my ass wet yet?”

“I’m sorry.” Kyungsoo says, looking down at the light reflecting in a puddle.

“You’re always sorry. You know what Baekhyun said?”

Kyungsoo shakes his head, walking straight ahead, towards the noisy street. Back towards the hospital.

“First that I’m stupid. And second that I should find somebody.”

“Oh.”

“Just ‘oh’? I’ve just told you that I might start dating and you say 'oh’.” Chanyeol says, stopping.

Kyungsoo keeps quiet, stopping a couple of steps ahead of him.

“You could at least say that you don’t want me to date.” Chanyeol says, walking until he is behind him. “Say something, for God’s sake.”

“I only have one friend. And I’m losing that one friend too.” he says, sighing.

“And that’s all your fault.” Chanyeol says and walks away.

 

-

 

“I’m here just to say that you are a total ass and the idiot of Chanyeol is moping over your sorry ass every single damn night.” Baekhyun says, looking up at Kyungsoo. “And I’ve also cut my hand. But not to see you and punch you in your damn face. You are supposed to know that what you are doing to him is making him a miserable mess.”

“Come with me.” Kyungsoo says, walking away. “It will need stitches.”

“Like his heart?”

“He knows me…” he sighs, taking a bottle from a drawer.

“But I don’t. So explain to me why can’t you be with him?” Baekhyun says, sitting down on a chair.

“It might sting.” he says and Baekhyun hisses.

“I’m always busy. He’s…he’s Chanyeol and he deserves someone who at least has time for him.” he says.

“Leave that bullshit. Why can’t you be with him?!” Baekhyun asks, Kyungsoo’s fingers squeeze the small needle a little too forcefully.

“I’m not ready. You don’t date your best friend who you barely see.”

“Other bullshit.” Baekhyun says. “You cannot be honest, can you?”

“It’s done.” Kyungsoo says, standing up. “Come in 2 weeks to take them out.”

“You still haven’t answered my question.”

“It’s none of your business.” Kyungsoo says.

 

-

 

“Heeeey…” Chanyeol drags out the words.

“Nice show.” Kyungsoo says, looking around.

“I’m sorry about Baekhyun.”

Kyungsoo laughs, licking his lips. “It’s fine. He’s right, you know?”

“Better than anybody else.” Chanyeol laughs. “Has he also told you about the moping?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

“Chanyeol…” Kyungsoo says, touching his elbow, and then removing his hand. “I want you to date other people.”

“And maybe I don’t want to. Have you thought about that?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

“I have one free hour. We could go eat some greasy hamburgers and hear me complain about the new doctor in the hospital. Or not.”

“And the other offer?”

“Not do that…I go back to the hospital and you talk to that cute girl over there who’s been staring at you all night long.” Kyungsoo says and Chanyeol glances back at her.

“Is there a third option?”

 

-

 

“Chanyeol, there’s people around!” Kyungsoo laughs as the other puts two fries up his nostrils and other two at the corners of his mouth.

“I’m not Chanyeol anymore. This is Mr. Walrus.” he says as one fry falls down onto the table.

“Mr. Walrus. Can you please act normal then?”

“But this extremely normal for a-” Chanyeol says as the other fries fall down on the ground. “Damn it.”

Kyungsoo looks down at his phone and then he sighs.

“I have a better idea.” Chanyeol smiles, looking straight at Kyungsoo. “Skip work. Just for tonight. Let’s take the car and go somewhere. Wherever. Please. I want to feel like I’m living.”

Kyungsoo shakes his head, smiling and looking down, straight at the fries on the floor.

“I can’t.”

“Please.”

“It’s not that easy…”

“Yes, it is. Choose me for once in your life, damn it!” Chanyeol says, standing up. “If you loved someone else I would have understood. But I can’t with this. I always choose you and you never choose me.

“Chanyeol…”

 

-

 

“I’m positive that I might get fired for this and…but I choose you, Chanyeol. I want…”

“And if I cannot do it anymore?” he asks, sighing.

“Please…I’m afraid. I’m not like you, offering my damn heart on a plate. Mine is not…I don’t know what ‘so much’ means to you, but it might not mean the same thing for both of us.” Kyungsoo says, leaning on the doorframe.

“I’m tired.”

“Can I at least…”

“Good night, Kyungsoo.”

 

-

 

“Wait! Wait! For fuck’s sake, wait!” Chanyeol yells, running after Kyungsoo.

“Cha-”

“I’m an idiot. And Baekhyun is totally right and I should or he should really punch you in the nuts, but I’m an idiot who keeps fucking chasing you. And I’m doing it again.” he says, bursting out in laughter. “You know…each time I promise myself that it’s the last time.”

“I shouldn’t have come to see you tonight.” Kyungsoo says.

“It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

“When we were-before…I was-I will damn regret this tomorrow morning. Do you know how many times I wanted to shout in your face that I hate you and that you only make me miserable?! How many times?!”

“Chanyeol-”

“Shut up! Let me finish this before I lose all my courage. I wanted to end our friendship so many times…but every time I saw you, I was falling in love a little bit more with you. And then I would hate you, me even more. I don’t want you to like me just enough! I want you to love me so much until it hurts!! And you don’t…but I keep running after you because…it’s enough for me.” Chanyeol says, breathing in heavily, all his body shaking with each word spoken.

“It’s enough seeing you laugh because of my stupid jokes or because of my terrible food…”

“Your food is not terrible.”

“My food…” Chanyeol laughs, shaking his head. “Let’s just…can we just please get into the car and drive…can we?”

“Yes…we can.” Kyungsoo smiles.

“I really think that I might puke…if you remind me tomorrow or whenever about this. Just don’t.” Chanyeol whispers, following him towards the car.

“Let’s just go to the river side.” Kyungsoo says. “See the ferries.”

“Alright…”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song recommandation: [ Cosmic Railway-EXO ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LwGjQj9VTc)

“I really like the ferries, you know?” Chanyeol says, sitting on the cold grass.

“Me too…” Kyungsoo says, turning on his side.

“The best part is when the trucks get on them and the deck bends down under their weight…”

It’s silent afterwards, even when Chanyeol shifts to face Kyungsoo. He sighs, glancing up at the sky right when a plane passes right above them.

“It looked like a shooting star.”

“There.” Kyungsoo points. “There’s one…make a wish.”

Chanyeol closes his eyes and breaths in, holding the air in for a couple of seconds.

“Did you make one?” Chanyeol asks.

Kyungsoo nods, smiling faintly. “I wished for this to never end…”

“They only come true if you don’t say them out loud.” Chanyeol laughs.

“Oh…”

It’s silent once again and another shooting star passes on the sky, without any of them seeing it.

“I wish things were this simple.” Kyungsoo sighs, just as the star disappears into the darkness.

“They could be…”

“How?”

“Just let me love you…”

“You said it already that I don’t love you enough.”

“It’s enough for me, Kyungsoo…” Chanyeol says, touching his face.

“No, it’s not.” he whispers.

“Let’s not ruin this too…”

“Alright.” Kyungsoo says.

Chanyeol’s fingers trace down on his face, cupping it, bringing Kyungsoo closer to him. His breath is warm on his skin, but after each breath, the warmth is being replaced by coldness. He leans in, until their lips softly touch and Kyungsoo closes his eyes, just as another shooting star passes above them.

 

-

 

“Do you have to go to the hospital?” Chanyeol asks.

“No…” Kyungsoo smiles. “Tonight I’m free.” he says, intertwining his fingers with Chanyeol’s.

“There’s that corner shop near my apartment…we could buy jelly bears and some soda. I really want some jelly bears and we could watch at least 3 Harry Potter movies tonight.”

“Okay…”

“Perfect. And maybe some tortilla chips with cheese.”

Kyungsoo laughs and squeezes his hand a little harder.

 

-

 

“Kyungsoo…hey, are you asleep?” Chanyeol asks, as Kyungsoo’s head is heavily leaning on his shoulder.

“No…I’m watching the…movie.” he mumbles after a couple of seconds.

Chanyeol smiles, glancing down at his face, slowly brushing his fingers through the short hair.

Kyungsoo hums, crawling even closer to him until Chanyeol can feel his heartbeat, booming on his chest, seeping through his veins.

 

-

 

“It’s 6…”

“Damn it.” Kyungsoo says.

“I’ll make some breakfast for you.”

“I don’t have time. Damn it, damn it, damn it.”

“Calm down.”

“I might get fired and then that self-centered idiot will take my spot as chief resident.” Kyungsoo mumbles, picking his clothes from the floor. “I’ve worked too hard so that-that perfect moron Kim Junmyeon can take my spot.” he says between clenched teeth.

“Kyungsoo…he can never take your spot.” Chanyeol smiles.

“Sure-sure.”

“I mean it.”

“And I mean it too.”

“I could come over tonight to cook something for you.”

“Tonight I’m at the hospital too.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Sure-sure.”

“Kyungsoo…”

“Huh?”

Kyungsoo walks over to him, leaving a quick peck on his lips. “Sorry. I’m an ass again, am I not?”

“A self-centered one…”

 

-

 

“That is Kim Junmyeon.” Kyungsoo says, looking straight at the man’s back.

“If I could see his face.”

“Trust me, you’re not missing anything. Except for his perfect thirty thousand dollar smile and hair covered in gel. And shirts bought by mommy and daddy.”

“I bought you a shirt once.”

Kyungsoo laughs, swirling his spoon in the soup.

“I’m singing tonight, at the bar. If you want to come.”

“Sure.”

“Baekhyun is coming too.”

“Oh.”

“He doesn’t hate you.” Chanyeol smiles, extending his arm over the table.

“Turn! Turn, turn now!” Kyungsoo whispers.

“He’s handsome. Kind of looks like that dude that stole your spot as chief editor.”

“That one was just a prick. Plus…I was never interested in lousy literature.” Kyungsoo snorts.

“He’s coming over. Damn it. Why are you so subtle all the damn time?” Kyungsoo mumbles.

“Kyungsoo.” Junmyeon smiles.

“Sit.”

“And who is this?”

“Chanyeol. Park Chanyeol.” he says, shaking the other’s hand. “Kyungsoo’s…”

“Best friend.”

“I see.

“I didn’t take you for the best friend kind of guy.“ Junmyeon smiles.

"I wouldn’t take myself either.” Kyungsoo laughs, looking over at Chanyeol.

“I got to go now. Nice meeting you…Park Chanyeol.”

“He even smells expensive.” Chanyeol laughs.

“If Baekhyun doesn’t punch me in the face tonight…I’m coming.” Kyungsoo says.

“Good. He should, you know?”

“Why?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

 

-

 

“He came. I’m surprised.” Baekhyun says, raising an eyebrow.

“Don’t.”

“You’re smiling like a fool when you look at him.” Baekhyun says. “Should I take it that you two fucked or at least he told you some sweet nothings last night?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“Hey.”

“I got to go.” Baekhyun says, looking back one more time at Chanyeol.

“Didn’t punch me in the face.” Kyungsoo laughs. “I’ve got one free hour if I don’t want that Junmyeon prick to steal my surgery.”

“Alright.” Chanyeol smiles.

“And a storm cloud just passed over your face. What did Baekhyun tell you?” Kyungsoo asks.

“Nothing. I want to kiss you.” Chanyeol whispers, licking his lower lip.

“Not here.”

“I know…” he sighs, glancing at his guitar. “I could give you my spare key and you could come whenever you want.”

“You moved out because-”

“I was angry. I’m not anymore.”

“She’s here, you know.” Kyungsoo says, looking somewhere in the back in the room.

“Who?”

“The girl.”

“We’re fine, right? We are fine.” Chanyeol says, standing up.

“We’re fine.” Kyungsoo says, wrapping his arms around the other’s torso. He leans his head on his chest, breathing in deeply.

“I love you.” Chanyeol whispers.

Kyungsoo breaths in one more time and then he makes a step back.

“I’ll be here…” he smiles, squeezing his arm a couple of times.

“Alright.”

“Alright.”

“Hello, everybody. I’m Park Chanyeol and tonight I’m going to sing for you a new song written for my best friend. Hope you’ll like it!” he smiles, glancing straight at Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo holds his gaze for a couple of seconds, and afterwards he looks once again at the back of the room.

 

-

 

“You’re still here.” Chanyeol smiles as he walks towards Kyungsoo.

“I suppose that the prick can steal my surgery from time to time.” he smiles.

“We could go to that Chinese restaurant to eat. I really want some good noodle soup. I only ate ramen recently and you know what ramen does to my stomach.”

“Let’s go to your place. I really need you, Chanyeol…” he whispers in his ear just as the girl is walking towards them.

“Yes…alright.” Chanyeol says into a smile, breathing in the scent of Kyungsoo’s hair.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song recommandation: [ Do you have a moment- SUHO x Jane Jang ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjHAA2rmK7I)

“Chanyeol…” Kyungsoo giggles.

“Are you actually ticklish, right over there?”

“Yes!”

 

-

 

“Chanyeol…please…”

 

-

 

“I think I could get used to this.”

“Just…shut up and keep doing what you were doing.”

“Yes, sir!”

“Don’t make this weird.” Kyungsoo giggles.

 

-

 

“You know what I was thinking?” Chanyeol asks, brushing his fingers through Kyungsoo’s hair.

“What?” he asks, looking up at him.

“Doesn’t matter. It’s stupid anyways.”

“You can tell me…remember when you told me about how you took all those puppies back home and kept them in your room for a week?”

“I do.”

“Then? What’s stopping you?”

“You…?”

“Me?” Kyungsoo laughs.

“You. And my big fat crush on you.”

“At least something needs to be fat in this relationship.” Kyungsoo laughs.

“What are we, Kyungsoo?” Chanyeol asks, his fingers suddenly stopping from caressing his head.

“What do you mean?”

“Are we friends? Lovers? Boyfriends? Today you told Junmyeon that I’m your best friend.”

“And aren’t you?”

“You’re avoiding my question.”

Kyungsoo sighs, looking down at Chanyeol’s naked chest.

“I’m avoiding it because I don’t know…you make me happy. Isn’t that enough?”

Chanyeol sighs, staring up at the ceiling.

“I shouldn’t have asked. I’m screwing this up too.”

“I can be your boyfriend. If that’s what you’re asking. But it’s only a label. I…you’re so much more to me than just a boyfriend. I’ve known you since I was 7…this-us, cannot be described by only a label.”

“This label is important for me, Kyungsoo…you’re so…I’m trying so hard to understand you sometimes.” Chanyeol says, breathing out. “Sometimes…you make me feel so…I shouldn’t have brought this up.”

“That I make you feel stupid?”

“Please…let’s just drop it. Can we?”

“I want to be your boyfriend. I want to make you happy. I really do.”

“I know…” Chanyeol sighs.

“So…am I your boyfriend?”

 

-

 

“So. That friend of yours, Chanyeol. I saw him singing at the bar. I would have really thought that you’d choose better friends.” Junmyeon says.

“That’s none of your business.”

“His girlfriend is really pretty though.”

“Girlfriend?”

“I think so. He was really close to a girl over there. What else would they be?”

 

-

 

“Don’t you sometimes get sick of this soup? I mean…I sure have.” Chanyeol laughs.

Kyungsoo shakes his head, looking down at his reflection in the spoon.

“Hey…what’s up?”

“Huh? Nothing…just tired.”

“Sure-sure?”

“Sure.”

 

-

 

“See you, right?”

“Right.” Kyungsoo smiles, looking up at Chanyeol. He quickly wraps his arms around his body, leaning his head exactly on Chanyeol’s heart.

 

-

 

“Wow. Is that a rose that I’m seeing?” Baekhyun asks from the doorframe.

“Yes.”

“You have no sense of humor. That’s actually sweet, coming from an asshole like you.”

“Has he…”

“He’s about to.”

“Look. I might be wrong about you. I’m not the one knowing you for 20 years. But this doesn’t change the fact that you don’t give a damn about him. For how long can someone chase you like a fool? Cute rose though.” Baekhyun smiles.

 

-

 

“Thank you very much everybody! This last song is dedicated to someone special. Hope you’ll love it as much as I do.” Chanyeol says into the microphone.

Kyungsoo glances at the rose sitting on the empty chair next to him, and then, right when he looks up, he sees the girl.

 

-

 

“Hey.” Chanyeol smiles, looking at Kyungsoo. “This is Rosé.”

“Hey. I’m Kyungsoo.”

“Nice to meet you.” she smiles, glancing at Chanyeol.

Kyungsoo looks back at the rose still on the chair and then back at the other two.

“Should we leave?”

“I’m actually…my pager just-I have to go back to the hospital.” Kyungsoo says.

“I didn’t hear it.”

“Earlier it…sorry.”

 

-

 

“You haven’t actually answered any of my calls. Like…the 23 of them.”

“Sorry. I’ve been busy.” Kyungsoo says.

“So busy in 3 days that you haven’t even picked up your damn phone?” Chanyeol asks, grabbing his wrist. “You’re shutting me out once again.”

“I’ve been busy. What can’t you understand?”

“Nothing.”

 

-

 

“I’m sorry. I’ve…I bought the tortilla chips you like and the jelly bears. And pizza. And some beer.”

“Oh.”

“Chanyeol…I’m sorry.”

“I’m going out.“ he says.

"Oh. With Baekhyun?”

“With Rosé.” Chanyeol says, glancing down at his shoes.

“Oh…that’s…”

“You’ve told me to try dating other people. Baekhyun has told me to date other people. You’ve told me.”

“I’m-you don’t need to explain yourself.” Kyungsoo laughs, dropping the jelly bears on the ground. “Fuck.”

“Kyungsoo…you haven’t answered any of my calls in 3 days.”

“I know.”

“It’s not really a date. We’re just going out. As friends.”

“Okay.” Kyungsoo says, looking down at the bag of jellies.

“Okay?”

“The shirt looks nice. Much more…serious. Don’t even think about wearing that one with the flamingos.” he smiles, picking the package from the ground.

“Kyungsoo…”

“I really really need to take a shower. I should go. Don’t be late.” he says, turning around.

“Kyungsoo…this is not…”

 

-

 

“This is honestly sad to say, but right now I think that you are the one needing a doctor.” Junmyeon says.

“What?”

“You look like crap. The terrible kind of crap. My advice would be to just go home and sleep. And not think about whatever you are thinking right now. It’s actually annoying. You know you’ve been frowning all day, right?”

“I’m fine.”

“Yes. And I’m chief resident. Just go to sleep. You’ll get a wrinkle between your eyebrows if you keep it like this.”

 

-

 

“You haven’t answered the phone. Again.” Chanyeol says from the doorframe. “Kyungsoo, you look terrible.”

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not and to be damned if I’m not moving in back with you.”

“What?”

“You don’t take care of yourself. Your fridge is empty. What did you eat today?”

Kyungsoo shrugs, closing the door and then leaning onto it.

“Please don’t tell me you haven’t even eaten that sad excuse of a soup.” Chanyeol says, walking straight to him. “Kyungsoo.”

“I’m alright. I just need to rest. That’s all. Really.”

“Kyungsoo…” Chanyeol says, stepping towards Kyungsoo and stopping right in front of him.

“Don’t leave me, okay?” he whispers.

“Okay…”

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song recommandation: [ Lights out=EXO ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Riq3L-_aSx0)

“How was…going out with her?” Kyungsoo asks from the couch.

“Good. It was good.”

“Just good?”

Chanyeol shrugs, placing the bowl with steaming soup in front of the other. “Eat.”

“Looks good.”

“I tried my best.” he smiles, sitting down.

“If you like her…”

“Kyungsoo…”

“All that I’m saying is that if you like her…I’m fine with it.”

“You haven’t eaten in 3 days. You haven’t answered any of my phone calls…3 days, Kyungsoo…”

“I know!”

“No, you don’t!” Chanyeol says, standing up. “It’s…you…all of this exhausts me.”

Kyungsoo looks down, right at the soup.

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing.”

 

-

 

“All that I’m saying is that I’m making you miserable and she is not.” Kyungsoo says.

“It has nothing to do with how you or her makes me feel. We’ve been-I’ve known you since forever and I cannot see myself without you.”

“I’m making you miserable.” Kyungsoo sighs, placing his head in between the palms of his hands. “And I don’t want that. I said that I want to make you happy, but if I’m unable to do that, then I’m fine if there’s someone out there who can.”

“Kyungsoo…” Chanyeol whispers, leaning on his shoulder.

“Maybe…we should keep the distance for a while.”

 

-

 

“I’m positive that there’s a wrinkle between your eyebrows.” Junmyeon laughs.

“Great.”

“I haven’t seen that friend of yours lately. Matrimonial fights?”

“Shut up.”

“Look, at least when he was coming that wrinkle was manageable.”

 

-

 

“You know he’s going out with her, don’t you?” Baekhyun asks.

Kyungsoo keeps looking at the stage, without saying anything.

“So you don’t…” Baekhyun sighs, crossing his arm over the chest. “Look. Maybe I was too harsh with you. You are indeed suffering and I’m not saying it just to say it.”

Kyungsoo glances at him and then down, at his feet.

“I’m sorry. Really. And about the last time. The rose was nice…”

“Yeah…” Kyungsoo huffs, turning around.

“He’ll be happy to see you. Lately he’s been sighing a lot. He misses you, Kyungsoo.”

“I should go.” he says.

 

-

 

“Hey…”

“Hey!” Kyungsoo smiles, looking at Chanyeol.

“Long time no see, right?”

“Right…”

“Right…” he whispers, shifting from one foot to another. “I was thinking about…”

Chanyeol shakes his head, lightly smiling. “Baekhyun is coming over tonight for guy’s night. You could come too. If you want.”

“Yeah…sure, sure. Sure.” Kyungsoo smiles.

“Great. I’ll see you then.”

 

-

 

“I got some beer.” Kyungsoo says, walking inside the apartment.

“Put it in the kitchen!” Baekhyun yells from the other room.

 

-

 

“Rosé is here too. I’m just warning you in advance.” Baekhyun says.

“Oh…wasn’t this…”

“She kind of came uninvited and Chanyeol couldn’t-you know.”

“Oh…are they…”

“Yes. I’m sorry. Really. I think he is sorry too. She doesn’t know that you two have been more than best friends. But I think it’s better to keep it this way.”

“Sure. Alright.” Kyungsoo smiles.

“Good.” Baekhyun says, patting his shoulder.

 

-

 

“So, Kyungsoo, as his best friend who has known him for 20 years, what embarrassing stories do you have with him?” Rosé asks, smiling.

“Oh…” Kyungsoo laughs, scratching his head. “I don’t know…”

“You must know. Or are they too embarrassing? He wouldn’t tell me.”

“I don’t know. We aren’t really that close anymore. We haven’t been for a while.” Kyungsoo says, looking up exactly when Chanyeol steps inside the room.

 

-

 

“Why did you say that?” Chanyeol asks.

“What?”

“That we aren’t close? Not anymore.”

“Are we?”

“Kyungsoo…please. You told me to never leave you…”

“I was sad then. That’s all.” Kyungsoo says, walking past him.

“Kyungsoo…”

“She’s nice. She’s really nice.”

 

-

 

“This was really great.” Rosé smiles from the doorframe. “We should really do it more often, right babe?”

“Right…” Chanyeol smiles.

“Now we got to go.” Baekhyun says.

 

-

 

“What are you doing here?” Kyungsoo asks.

“Came to see you.” Chanyeol says.

“I’m about to scrub into a surgery.”

“Oh, alright.” he smiles. “You could come later to the bar. I have a new song…”

“I don’t think that I have time. I’m sorry.” Kyungsoo says.

“Sure…”

“Alright…”

 

-

 

“Kyungsoo…”

“What are you doing in here?“ Kyungsoo asks.

"To see you? I’m here to see my best friend. I need my best friend.”

“Chanyeol…”

“I need you. And I haven’t seen you in 2 months and I miss you. And I broke up with her because I kept thinking about you and I’m chasing you once again. I-I actually thought that I could do it. Date people. Be in a relationship. Forget about you. Forget about the fact that it seems like we cannot agree on anything. But I couldn’t.”

“Chanyeol.”

“I kept thinking whether or not you ate enough or slept enough or changed that damn bathroom rug that it’s so useless and makes you slip every time. And I couldn’t think about her. At all. And you haven’t called. Not even once.”

“Chanyeol…”

“Stop saying that!”

“I wanted-I hoped…she seemed to make you happy. And I wasn’t. I cannot.”

“You’re so stupid sometimes…”

“Didn’t she?”

“No.”

“I can’t either.” Kyungsoo sighs.

“Don’t say what can and cannot make me happy. If I say that you make me happy then you are the one who makes me happy.” Chanyeol says. “So shut up and let me in…let me in, for fuck’s sake. How many times do I have to say that I love you to make you believe me?”

“I can’t love you the same way you love me! I’m not like you, Chanyeol! I’m cold and scared and a coward and I keep hurting you…and I don’t want that…”

“I don’t want you to be like me…that-that would be weird.” Chanyeol laughs. “I need my storm cloud. And I’m your stupid rainbow…”

“You’re not stupid.” Kyungsoo laughs.

“I’m not as smart as you are.” he says, wrapping his arms around his slim torso.

“I’m not that smart…if I were-”

“Stop it. Stop doing that for 5 minutes. Just shut up and let me hug you and then we can think about how stupid we both are. Okay?”

“Okay.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and feedback are appreciated :)


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